5 Surprising Life Lessons My Nephew Taught Me

How a toddler's simple actions revealed powerful insights on influence, behavior, and personal growth.

You'd never expect a child to teach you about leadership, but spend enough time with one, and you'll see.

The little things—like how they mimic your every move or choose who to engage with—hold the key to understanding human nature.

I’ve known my nephew since the day he was born, and during the time I've spent with him, he’s taught me more than I expected.

There’s something about babies that captivates everyone—they’re like magnets, drawing in even the hardest hearts.

I’ve seen my family mourn the passing of his baby years, constantly sharing his old pictures and videos.

Though I’ve spent less time with him than others in the family, he’s still made a strong impression on me. Here’s what I discovered from my young nephew that changed how I lead and influence those around me.

1. Attention Matters

From a very young age, children notice everything, and attention is critical. They use facial expressions and body language to understand the world around them.

In the Netflix series The Beginning of Life, it’s said that babies first learn from faces, using them to know what’s good or bad.

When children receive enough attention, they develop secure attachments, confidence, and emotional intelligence. Without it, they may seek unhealthy attachments elsewhere.

2. Mimicking Behaviors

Children mimic the behavior of those around them, especially those who spend time with them. My nephew has copied the way I sit, often finding an empty seat and crossing his arms like I do.

He also mimics others, especially in activities like playing soccer with my sister or spending time with a favorite cousin.

Each adult in his life plays a unique role, and he mimics behaviors based on his experiences with them.

In the documentary Babies, you can see infants showing emotions like boredom and excitement at an early stage. Most interestingly, they're born with certain expectations about the world around them.

3. Consistency is Key

My nephew associates me with my routines. For example, whenever I prepare to go for a run, he calls me “Beti” (short for Best, my middle name) and says "poro" (his word for sport).

He’s seen me exercise regularly and has come to recognize it as part of my identity. This shows how consistent behaviors create lasting impressions.

4. Children Know How to Engage

Kids are smart—they know which family member to approach for candy, who will let them play with their phone, and who they can roughhouse with.

My nephew has mastered this at a young age, knowing who to engage for different needs. This teaches us that behaviors we demonstrate frequently have a significant impact on children.

5. Leading by Example

Children aren’t the only ones who mimic behaviors. I’ve seen this as a musician, where friends and colleagues started changing their habits just by being around me.

If you want people around you to adopt certain behaviors or change habits, you have to lead by example. People will naturally follow your lead if they’re truly interested in you.

Final Thought

You can’t expect everyone to follow your influence, especially if their identity is shaped by different priorities.

For instance, if you don’t drink and meet someone whose identity is tied to social drinking, they’re unlikely to change.

It’s important to recognize that influence works best when it aligns with shared values and interests.